The Journey

Hello dear friends,

Last time I wrote to you I was doing great. Well, things quickly deteriorated from there and the almost two months since have been filled with some very difficult days. However, I am thrilled to report that today marks one week of not horrible to really incredible days! This journey I'm on is an emotional one, filled with the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I can go from physically having the best day (of, really let's just say it, my life up to this point) to feeling like I'm on my deathbed the next. It's a crazy ride God has me on, but I am so thankful for the things He's teaching me along the way.


We had to skip our May trip to Lincoln because Dr. Sara was busy having a baby! It was really hard to miss this trip because I was feeling so sick when we should have been there. I wanted Sara to fix me. Now I'm feeling better and I don't want to go back - Sara might break me again! I know, I know, she isn't really breaking me. But the process of fixing me is not a pleasant one.

There is one treatment that I started getting a few months ago. It has the strangest reaction I've ever experienced. Sara taught my mom how to do this treatment to me at home. She did a great job and it really helps me feel better. So let me explain this reaction. This particular treatment is for my lungs and kidneys. Part of the treatment I can hardly feel, but there are places that are incredibly painful. They are the places that are the most inflamed and need the most help. When the treatment hits these places it causes an emotional reaction that makes me cry. It isn't just a "ouch, this hurts" cry, it is a deep, emotional response that makes me sob and sob. Did you know that your organs are connected to different emotions? Yah, I didn't either. But they are. Kidneys and lungs are tied to grief and fear. When the treatment hits those sensitive places, years of grief and fear are triggered. Grief over being sick, fear of never being well. I've never been a crier so I've got years built up that I have to get out before I can be better. It's crazy and believe-you-me I wouldn't believe it if I didn't experience it. So I cry and cry and then feel so much better. It's all part of my healing process, and I am healing!

The end of May marks one year since I started seeing Sara. It has been one of the most difficult, painful, horrific, discouraging, frustrating years of my life. It has also been one of the best years of my life. I have experienced an intimacy with God this year that I have never experienced. I have felt His love, grown familiar with His voice, praised Him in the storm, been awed by His creation, known His faithfulness, felt his compassion, been held in His arms, fallen in love with His Word, and depended on Him for life itself. Friends, if you don't know God, get to know Him. He's incredible and He loves you so very much. Life is nothing without Him. You were made to worship God. Are you?

Nate & Amy becoming Mr. and Mrs. Siler

I have to tell you about something else that is amazing. On April 26 I had the privilege and honor of officiating my cousin Nate and his wife Amy's wedding! If you've read this far, you know it's a miracle that I felt well that day. In fact, I felt great for exactly as long I needed to that day. It was such a beautiful and fun day. In fact, I don't think I've ever had so much fun at a wedding! It was truly a day blessed by God. Nate and Amy, I'm so happy for you and I pray constantly for you both and your new life together as husband and wife!

Okay, just one more thing... If you're my friend on Facebook you probably saw pictures of the new bike I got for my birthday (pictured above). Okay, so my birthday isn't until Thursday, but I got it a few weeks early! I have been absolutely loving my bike rides. Sure, they're short, but they're fun and are proving to be a great way to start building up my strength and endurance. I'm looking forward to seeing how far I can ride by the end of the summer.

I've been having fun planting flowers, watching the family of robins in the bush  by my door, and enjoying watching God's beautiful creation on my 1/2 acre of promised land. Every day there is something to be amazed by and to thank God for!

I pray that you will have an incredible summer and that no matter what you end up doing or not doing, you will see God in it. I pray that every day you will see something that will make you stop and remember God, and that you will take a moment to worship and thank Him.

Job answered God:

“I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything.
    Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water,
    ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
    made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, ‘Listen, and let me do the talking.
    Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.’
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
    now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I’m sorry—forgive me. I’ll never do that again, I promise!
    I’ll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor.”

 ~ Job 42:1-6, The Message ~