Don't Travel Alone

 

Happy August, friends! Here in Wisconsin it has felt like fall for a couple of weeks now. I guess the new normal weather pattern is there is no normal! We did experience a few days of real heat in July and I am very pleased to report that I did not have any problems breathing! In fact, as of my last trip to see Dr. Sara, I am off my asthma medication. I do still keep a rescue inhaler close, just in case, but my lungs are making great progress. I am still coughing some junk out and that can be kind of disgusting, but it's coming out and that's a good thing! 

This past week I spent in Nebraska again. I had a full thermograph, the first since the first one I had. It was interesting to see the progress I have made this summer. I got a lot of news, most of it good! Here are a few highlights. 

• As mentioned above my lungs are healing and clearing out.
• My liver/gallbladder/pancreas area is really stressed right now and I have a lot of inflammation in my lymph system - but for a good reason. My body is doing such a good job getting rid of toxins that they can't keep up. I'm taking a break from detoxing treatments and focusing on treatments that will build my body up for a week, then more detox will begin.
• My body is detoxing a bunch of heavy metals right now. In fact 5 lines on the thermograph printout are bright red, showing that is what my body is getting rid of in large amounts. 
• My tumor markers are back in the "perfectly normal" range.
• And the best news....are you ready for this? No really, this is a big one...are you sitting down? My nervous system is greatly improved! A couple of months ago it was functioning at 50% - as of last Wednesday, it's functioning at 95%!!!!! This is incredible news. Here's what it means. If I got the flu tomorrow my body would know what to do with it instead of freaking out, letting the flu run wild and attacking something good in me instead of the flu germs. This is a BIG DEAL people! 

So, that's my news. It's good news and I'm happy. I still have rough days ahead of me. The detox process really wipes me out. There are days when I literally can't open my eyes. I am so tired, I just need to sleep most of the day. My body gets like this because it is working so hard getting rid of junk that it doesn't have any energy left to give to me. However, I have noticed that my good days are better than they used to be. I have more energy and can get more things accomplished before feeling tired. 

I'm still working through the thoughts and feelings I wrote about in Thoughts on Healing. I am so thankful that God is working in my life in this way. I know so many people who are chronically ill and I think I am experiencing a bit of "healing guilt" which I assume is similar to survivors guilt. I don't know why God seems to be healing my body right now. I don't know if He will continue the healing process, making my body completely well. I don't know if this is just a reprieve and the illness and pain will come back. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm not on this journey alone. I have God in the driver's seat and all of you along for the ride. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for your concern and love. 

I'm reading John Stumbo's book In the Midst: Treasures from the Dark and it is greatly encouraging. It is a compilation of things he wrote in the midst of great physical suffering. Another of his books (which I also highly recommend) An Honest Look at a Mysterious Journey tells the story of his illness and the start of his healing. It's a great book and it spoke to me. It gave me encouragement from someone who has come out the other side of chronic illness. However the writings found in In the Midst were written when there was no light at the end of the tunnel. He didn't know if he was going to be healed, die or suffer for many years to come. He struggled day to day, moment to moment with things that all of us who are sick struggle with. And he wrote about it. 

Much like why I write this blog, John wrote not only to express his feelings but to help him figure out what he was feeling. What encourages me most about this book (and I'm only on page 40) is that he leaves things unsaid. Unfinished. Questions unanswered. In John's writings some days he finds Jesus in the midst of his sufferings, but some days he doesn't. Not that Jesus isn't there, it's just that some days it's too dark to see Him (at least that has been my experience). 

It's okay for us to not have everything figured out. It's okay to have emotions and feelings and not know what to do with them. It's okay to be in the middle of your journey, unaware of where it will lead you. John's journey has brought him to a position of leadership. On August 1 (just 4 days ago) John Stumbo took leadership of the Christian & Missionary Alliance as the 12th president. I find great hope in John's journey.

No matter how bumpy your journey is right now, remember that you don't travel alone! May God bless you greatly as you find joy in Him, whatever your circumstances.