Hello dear friends,
I wanted to share with you the results of my doctor appointment on Tuesday. I will continue taking the medication that I am on and add a new medication to that. This new medication is supposed to really help my joint pain, however it could give me some not too pleasant side effects. I will start the medication with four pills on Monday and every two weeks take one more pill until I am up to 10 pills a week. The nice thing is that I only have to take them once a week! Every two weeks I will have to get lab work done to make sure that my body is doing okay and not being harmed. Please pray with me that my body will react to this new medication well, that it will work, and that I will not experience any side effects (especially vomiting - I HATE throwing up and avoid it at all costs, even if I know it would make me feel better)!
My doctor also told me that I could not go overseas any time soon. She said that if it was up to her, I would never go overseas. As you might imagine, this was not what I wanted to hear. I have dreamt of being a missionary my whole life. It is what God has laid on my heart and prepared me to do. I have dedicated my entire life getting education and training so that I could serve Him in the least reached places of the world. So to have to stay breaks my heart. As of today I am not a missionary appointee with the C&MA anymore. It seems as if everything is being stripped away. I didn't realize how much value I placed on the title "missionary" until it was taken away. I am left with just me. Just the quiet, shy Josie that is scared to speak in public and often unsure of herself. The missionary Josie was outgoing and confident and knew where she was going and what she wanted out of life. Now it is just me and God. And I praise Him for that. If this is what it takes to make me dependent on God and God alone then I welcome it and thank Him for it. My identity is not in a title, it is in Jesus Christ.
In the Christian and Missionary Alliance we believe in the Fourfold Gospel. We look to Jesus Christ as our Savior, Sanctifier, Healer and Coming King. I have experienced Jesus as my Savior and Sanctifier and look forward to the day when He will return as my Coming King. Now I look to Christ as my Healer. These are not just things that I have written papers on and are a part of my church. They are things that I believe with all my heart. I know that Jesus can heal me completely and I ask you to pray that with me.
It is my prayer that one day I will call up the C&MA, tell them that I am better and ready to go to the ends of the earth for my Lord. Until that day my home will be in the United States. I will work towards getting better, pray for healing and make my life here until the Lord tells me it is time to go. I don't know why I am not able to go overseas at this point, but I trust that God is Sovereign. He has a plan and it will be accomplished. If His plan is for me to be in the United States right now (or forever), then I welcome it, accept it and praise Him for it.
"I will extol the Lord at all times, His praise will always be on my lips." ~Psalm 34:1
3 comments:
Jo,
1. I'm sorry that you cannot go oversees soon.
2. I'm found your words a great expression of true faith in God and very inspirational. I believe you will feel the healing power of God.
3. I'm excited for this new phase in your life because he is already growing you stronger. I hope you know that wherever you are, you have people thinking and praying for you so you are not alone. There is a reason you are in the US now... you know it, I know it, God knows it... you may or may not find out the reason, but you can trust God.
-Thanks again for your beautiful words and I hope to see you again soon,
Elizabeth
Josie,
As you know a missionary is not defined by a location overseas. North America has become one of the biggest mission fields in the world. We need more missionaries dedicated to reaching a very lost continent for Jesus Christ. As far as I am concerned if God has called you to be a missionary, you are one. He is just letting you know that your service is needed here!
May the Lord bless you as he uses you to make Christ known!
Diana, the kids and I will be praying for you,
Pastor Travis
Josie-
I am so sad for you:( I do understand to a degree what you are going through...I found out through about 3 different tests (that were not fun- the last one being the least fun)that I have a hole in the upper valve of my heart! I have to get it fixed sometime soon and the procedure won't be fun at all, but it's not surgery thank God!! I have apparently had that hole my entire life and didn't know about it until now. I feel like why is this happening God? I just got married two months ago and boom this happened! I would love to do so many things, but I can't! I know it's not quite the same, but the fact that God allowed this to happen is kinda similar. I prayed too that he would heal it, but He chose not to so far. Yes, I am with you that He can heal, he's the ultimate healer!!:)
You'll be in my prayers Josie!!
Love ya-
Aimee
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