To Change Or Not To Change

That really is the question my friends. There has been a lot of change going on in my life these last several weeks. There will be more.

One big change is that I have moved. I am now living in Menomonie close to work. That is so very nice! I am slowly but surely getting moved in. My roommates and I made a lot of progress tonight. I got a bunch of pictures hung in my room and that always makes a place feel like home to me :-)

There are more changes going on in our church family. They are good changes, but difficult changes. No one ever said that change was easy, but it is necessary. When God tells a person to do something, they must do it. It's a matter of obedience. God has the best for us. We must give our best to Him. Some of you will know what I'm talking about, but many of you are probably confused. That's okay because the details don't really matter. What does matter is that this life is all about obedience and following God, wherever He takes you, or leaves you.

Monday through Thursday of this week I attended our C&MA District Conference in Green Bay, WI. It was excellent. We had a speaker from the National Office who talked about change. If we don't change and keep up with the times and reach out beyond our walls we will cease to exist. We are here to shine God's light into the darkest of places. It was a very challenging and encouraging conference. God really spoke to my heart. He had been the week before as well. I could feel things building up and I knew they had to come out soon or I would explode. You see, we just got done with missions conference the week before. It was excellent. We had wonderful people here to share about how God is using them and their teammates to push back the darkness in one of the darkest corners of our world. They challenged people to take the next step in obedience to God. Where would He have them go? What would He have them do? I wanted to jump up and down and say "I'll go, I'll go! Send me!" But I can't go. Not now. Maybe not ever.

You see friends, this is what I've been struggling with. What is always in the back of my mind and heart. I want to go to the ends of the earth. It is what I've always dreamed of. I want to go where no one has gone before and meet people that no one has met before and tell them that they are loved by their Creator and can have a personal relationship with Him. But for some reason God wants me here. I don't understand it, but I accept it. You see, what I have been learning is that it isn't all about missions. It's about obedience. I've shared with you before that most people need to come to the point where they are willing to sacrifice everything and go. I had to come to the point where I was willing to sacrifice my hopes and my dreams and stay. Do you know that there is not a hierarchy of spiritual actions? A person called overseas is not more spiritual than a person that God has called to a ministry in the US. I know that if I went overseas right now it would be a disaster because that is not where God wants me. He wants me right here. So here I am, walking in obedience even though I don't understand.

I know all this in my head, but every now and then it sinks a little deeper into my heart. That's when it gets hard. That's when I grieve and feel a deep sense of loss. I sing a song like "I Surrender All" and I bawl my head off. Then I seek the face of my Father in Heaven and I am content. I feel peace and joy because I know that I'm in the center of His will for my life. I also feel hope because I know that His ways are not my ways and that He has a perfect plan for my life. I hope because I know that this is what is best for me and that He is using it as a beautiful part of His plan for my life and this world.

So this is what I am learning. Sometimes the hardest change is not being able to change at all, but in obedience staying right where God has planted you! What is God calling you to?