Suffering and Surgery

Hello dear friends,

I fear this blog update is not going to be the happiest you have read, but I do pray that through it, you will find the hope that is found in Jesus Christ.

It is hard for me to know where to begin. Many of you reading this attend the Alliance Church in Menomonie and are aware of the sudden death of a much loved member of our church family. It does not feel like he is really gone and my heart aches for his family. The memorial service will be this weekend and it will be difficult, but it will also be a time of joy and celebrating the life of a man who was completely sold out for the Lord, who loved his family with everything that was in him and who was respected and loved by his friends.

Earlier this week one of my best friends lost her dad to cancer. She is hurting and her family is hurting. Again, I am so grateful that her dad loved the Lord and is with Him. I am grateful that my friend was able to go home and be with her family and spend the last days with her dad. It is hard to be so far away from a friend who is hurting and feel like you can't do anything, even give a hug. Human nature wants to do something tangible, hands on. I need to keep reminding myself that praying is doing something, something important and powerful.

Would you pray for these dear families as they adjust to life without their loved ones? I know they would appreciate your prayers right now and in the days and months to come.

Tuesday I have to have surgery. If you read my last blog you know that I had an endoscopy (tube down my throat) to look at my stomach. While they were in there a couple of biopsies were taken that came back fine. The only thing that they figured out from that test and the blood taken was that I am malnourished. That isn't a surprise since I feel sick every time I try to eat something or even think about eating. I haven't been eating much for the last couple of weeks! The next step was to check my gallbladder. I had a HIDA Scan last week. That test showed that my gallbladder is functioning at 9%, which is basically nothing. That is most likely what is causing all the pain. So on Tuesday, April 12th I have surgery to remove my gallbladder. Hopefully it will be a simple surgery with a quick recovery time. While they are in there the surgeon is going to take a look around at everything else he can see to make sure there is nothing else going on in there besides the gallbladder issue. If he sees something or has issues getting the gallbladder out he may have to make larger incisions to get a better look. The procedure is outpatient so hopefully I will be able to go home on Tuesday. I may have to stay in the hospital longer if I am not recovering well afterwards or if they had to do "open surgery" instead of the laparoscopic surgery they are planning on doing. The surgery will be at the Baldwin Hospital so I hope I don't get stuck there for too long!

Would you please pray for me on Tuesday? This seems so insignificant compared to the things that my friends are going through right now, but it is still something I would appreciate prayer for. Please pray not only that the surgery will go well, but that I do not get any type of infection. Because of the Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease, any surgery is slightly more risky. The UCTD is an autoimmune disease. That means that my immune system is overly stimulated and attacks the good things in my body instead of the harmful things (like infections). I take a medication that suppresses my immune system so that it doesn't attack itself. Because it suppresses my immune system I am not able to take it while I recover from surgery. My body cannot heal on it's own when I am on this medication. I have to stop taking it right away and I can begin it again three weeks after the surgery if I am infection free and recovering well. If I get an infection in the next couple of weeks it could be very bad. Good grief, a simple gallbladder surgery isn't so simple when combined with all that other junk I've got going on! So my biggest prayer request is that I would heal well and stay free of infection.

Okay, so that's all the sad/hard stuff. I want to end by telling you about some of the exciting things that I am blessed to be a part of. First of all I have started an on-line professional photography course through the New York Institute of Photography. I am excited to greatly improve my photography skills! I was also published this month. I was the photographer for the cover of a local magazine! You can read the Queen of the Castle Magazine on-line here: http://www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com. (I did the cover for the April edition.)

A couple of weeks ago I was able to go to San Diego, CA to attend a Perspectives Coordinator Workshop. This was such a great trip. I learned how to coordinate the Perspectives class so that we can offer it at our church next spring. If you haven't heard of Perspectives, check it out at: http://www.perspectives.org. Seriously, I think everyone should take this class. It will change your life. While in San Diego, I was able to get out and do a little photography. The photograph of the beautiful peacock above was taken at the San Diego Zoo.

I love looking at the photographs from the zoo. They remind me of how creative God is. They remind me that He is the Creator God and that He has a wonderful imagination...and a sense of humor! Some animals are so funny looking :-) Take a minute to look at the peacock above. Really look at it. Do you see all of the detail? Look at the vibrant colors and the intricate details of each feather. If God cares enough to spend that much time making a peacock beautiful, how much more does He care about you and I? He created us. He knows each of us intimately. He knows when we are happy, sad, frustrated, angry. He knows when we are embarrassed or confused. He knows how we will react to every situation because He made us. He made our emotions. He made us each unique and He knows what we need every moment of every day. God is sovereign. He has a plan. Nothing surprises Him. He is not distant and cold, uncaring of what happens to His creation. He is intimately involved with every aspect of His creation. Jesus had a close friend named Lazarus. Lazarus died and Jesus wept. He wept because His friends were hurting. He wasn't weeping for Lazarus because He knew that He was going to bring him back to life. When I see a peacock, I remember all of this because I know my God is a God who cares. I may not understand everything He does or allows, but I know that He is good.

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Matthew 6:26

Too Many Compartments

So life has been crazy since I last wrote. This update may be somewhat discombobulated, but that's how I feel right now :-) If you don't have time to read the whole thing, would you please skip to the last two paragraphs and read about a few timely prayer requests?!

Let's start with work/church. Those must be combined because so many things overlap. One big thing is that we hired a new Pastor of Student Ministries. This is very exciting news! I can't wait until Kyle and his family arrive. It will be great to have a new addition to our crazy, best ever staff! Other things I'm working on... I am helping put together a blood drive for the community that our church is hosting April 15th. I am also helping to promote a Dave Ramsey EntreLeadership Simulcast that will be held on April 1st. If you live in the Menomonie area and want training in business or leadership from a Biblical perspective you definitely want to check this out (http://www.eleaderseminar.com/.) We have a team from our church going to Mexicali, Mexico. They leave tomorrow! I have been busy helping them get ready for their trip. If my roommates had taken a video of me trying to get plane tickets for them it would be a YouTube sensation! God is good though and He pulled through once again - He gets all the glory! This month at church we had a funeral for a little baby. It was so sad and tragic, yet the hope of Christ was there. It was heartbreaking and yet hope-filled. Only in Christ do you have hope in the midst of tragedy. It has been an emotional and stressful month at work, but it has also been amazing to see how God brings us all together, uses our different strengths and accomplishes His purposes! Speaking of His purposes, I have also started working on my certification to become a Biblical Counselor.

It certainly has been a busy month...and that's not all! There have been some really cool things happening with my photography business, Glory Displayed. I had my first craft fair of the year and it felt good to get back into things. On Monday I was able to do a photo shoot for the cover of a local magazine. I can't talk about it yet, but when it comes out on April 1st I'll be sure to share! Just so you aren't confused when it comes out I was the photographer for the cover, not the cover model!! I also had the opportunity this month to meet with an amazing group of women. My friend Jenny, who started the business Fierce Beauty, invited several of us "like-minded" ladies to her home. She shared with us the next steps her business is taking and we were all able to share a little bit about who we are and why we were there. It was a group of women who are passionate about bringing an end to human trafficking and modern day slavery. It was a time to connect and dream and I left so excited to see what God is doing and how He is using ordinary people to accomplish His extraordinary plans! Take a look at https://www.facebook.com/GloryDisplayed for more information on Glory Displayed and how you can be a modern day abolitionist. I will very soon be signing up for an on-line Professional Photography Course through New York Institute of Photography. My photography has been greatly improving, but there is still so much I need to learn. If I am going to be a professional photographer I need some more training. I am very excited to start these classes and watch the progress!

The last thing that I wanted to update you on and ask you to pray for is my health. Today I had a consultation with the doctor that is going to stick a tube down my throat. To my surprise, he scheduled the procedure for tomorrow morning (Friday, March 11). I have to be at the Baldwin Hospital at 8:00am and the procedure is at 9:00. Will you pray for me? This is supposed to be simple and easy, but I am nervous. I will have to have an IV and that is the biggest thing that makes me nervous. I have very little veins and have been told by numerous nurses that they hope I never have to have an IV because it will be terrible. That's encouraging! Please pray that they will be able to find a vein, especially since I can't have anything to drink after midnight - they will shrink even more! Pray that I really would sleep through it and that my gag reflexes would be under control. I don't really want them to find something, but I do want answers for why I've lost 20 pounds and feel nauseous all the time! I guess I would like you to pray that God's will would be done, that He would give me peace and that this procedure wouldn't be as bad as my imagination is making it out to be!

THANK YOU friends for your prayers and encouragement. So you know how guys tend to compartmentalize things? Sometimes I feel more like a guy than a girl. I have all these different things I am doing and get in my "work compartment" or my "international ministry compartment" or my "photography compartment" and so on and so on. Then I'll have a moment where my compartments collide and I realize all of the things I am trying to do and it freaks me out! I really need to prioritize and make sure I take care of my health and get the rest that my body needs. You could pray for wisdom for me as well! I want to make sure I keep an outward focus. There are so many of you going through things that are much harder than the stress I sometimes find in my life. I want to be here for you and pray for you and encourage you. I want my life to be a reflection of Christ. I don't want to judge people or assume I know what others are feeling or experiencing. I want to show people the love and grace and hope that is found in Jesus alone.

Reporting Back

Hello friends,

Thank you so much for your prayers leading up to and during the Biblical Counseling Conference in Lafayette, Indiana. If you don't have time to read the entire blog here is the super short version: I had an amazing week and God answered your prayers!

Here is the longer version:

I was so blessed by this week and God worked in some amazing ways. First I'll give you a quick rundown from the week, then share about how God specifically answered your prayers. We left early Saturday morning and about 10 hours later we got to Lafayette. We went out for supper and by the time we got back to the hotel I was shot. I was coughing and sneezing and felt terrible. When I got up the next morning I still didn't feel well so I stayed in the hotel while everyone else went to church, lunch and a store to get snacks and whatnot. I ended up missing the first session on Sunday night which was okay with me because I got to watch the entire Super Bowl which made me very happy! I watched the first half in my room and when everyone got back at halftime we had a party out in the lobby. What a great game! I sure do love my Super Bowl winning Packers :-) On Monday I went to all of the sessions. I coughed all the way through, but I made it. Monday night I coughed all night long and kept my roommates up - sorry ladies - so they made me go to Urgent Care on Tuesday morning. I went and got drugs and slept the rest of the day. That was just what my body needed because I was able to go to all of the remaining sessions. Sure I was still coughing a ton, but I made it! It was funny, every day I was at the conference someone I didn't know gave me some form of a cough drop. The most interesting one I got was mentholated licorice flavor. What a surprise to the taste buds!

I had some very specific prayer requests for this week. Here is how God answered them:

I will not have muscle and joint pain. I did not have very much muscle or joint pain at all. This was a huge answer to prayer. Sure there were days I was a little sore and stiff, but it really wasn't too bad. I'm more sore today than I was all week.

I will have the ability to concentrate and listen well. I did! Even with being sick I was able to listen and concentrate well. I had a clear mind and was able to comprehend everything they were teaching. I can't say I remember it all at the moment, but I remember some of it and have a whole binder of notes I can look back on. This was one of my biggest concerns before I went and it is still amazing to me to think about how clear I was even with such little sleep. Yeah God!

I will have strength and energy for each moment of each day. God answered this prayer as well. Even though I was sick I only missed one day of the conference. Even though I coughed through all the sessions I felt like I had strength and energy and I was able to get through them. Normally when I get sick like this it completely wipes me out for a week or two and I can hardly function so this was a huge blessing and answer to prayer.

I don't have any issues with my asthma. God answered this in a unique way! When we checked into our hotel Saturday night my roommates and I got a room on the third floor. As soon as the elevator door opened we could smell cigarette smoke which is not good for my asthma at all. One of my roommates also has asthma and neither one of us could breathe. We went back to the lobby and got a different room on the second floor. This room was better, but still smelled like smoke so back to the lobby we went. Almost all of their rooms were full for the week so we ended up getting one of the suites on the first floor. The air was clear and the room was nice and big for the four of us. My roommates especially appreciated the fact that they could banish me to the windowsill for the week because I was sick. That's okay, I still infected them all and it was actually pretty comfortable!

God will reveal to me my role in Biblical Counseling at church. This is still to be worked out, but I do feel that God confirmed my involvement with Biblical Counseling. I soaked up all the information like a sponge and loved every minute of it. It was such good, practical, specific information about how to help people deal with anything they are going through by turning to the Bible for hope, help, answers and real life change. We had sessions on fear and worry, forgiveness, anger, physical and mental illness, the role of husbands, the role of wives, parenting and so much more. I had to remind myself in some of these sessions that even though the information might not apply to me at the moment, there is a good chance that I will counsel people that these issues do apply to.

God will do anything necessary to teach me what He wants me to learn. God taught me so many things this week. One of the things we heard over and over again is that the best counselor is first a good counselee. In other words, as we learn and grow and apply the truth of God's Word to our own lives then we are able to help others to do the same. As we were learning how to counsel people in these different topics I learned so much to apply to my own life. One of my favorite sessions was Counseling People with a Physical Illness. That spoke to my heart and blessed me greatly. There were so many other things that God taught me, truths about forgiveness, anger, worry and fear.

God will do anything necessary to help me grow more into His likeness. I sent an e-mail right before I left asking for prayer that my cold would get better and that I wouldn't have to get antibiotics. I feel like God allowed me to be sick and used that sickness to show Himself faithful to me in so many ways. He enabled me to attend almost all of the sessions even though I was sick. He helped me to understand and comprehend things. Thursday night I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic I got on Tuesday and broke out in hives. Even in that God was taking care of me because it was just a rash and I didn't stop breathing and have to go to the emergency room. A little Benadryl and I was fine by morning. Through all of this God taught me that if He wants me to do something He will enable me. It may not be easy, but together we'll get through it!

One of the things that stood out to me this week was that in almost every session they talked about the heart. What is in our heart comes out in our thoughts and actions. As we change our though patterns and walk in obedience to God's Word our hearts change. As our hearts change, actions will follow and we will become more like Christ.

So all in all this was an amazing week. I feel so much more refreshed and energized than when I left and I have a renewed passion for the Word of God. I learned a lot of things that I now need to implement in my own life and teach others. I am so blessed and encouraged by how God answered our prayers and I hope that you are too. Thank you for standing with me in the battle. I feel like there was a spiritual battle going on to keep me from the conference and take me out when I was there, but we won and can now celebrate the victory in Jesus!